I really don't think anyone reads this which i actually don't care it just feels good to write someplace people may stumble upon and read and realize that they are not alone in the world.
To anyone who does read this i want you to get any old photos you have and organize them into a photo album and if you are a step ahead and already have that done i want you to look through them and remember the good times and the bad times. The times that will make you cry and make you laugh. I want you to remember those people in your life that made you who you are today, or any of those people who affected you at all. Then after this think of the people in your life right now that are still in those pictures and tell them how much then mean to you. And do it right now because tomorrow might be to late.
The last thing i did with my aunt before she died was just popped over to see how she was doing, it went basically like this:
I got there and knocked on the door where my uncle greeted me like always he looked like he was a little more tired and irritated than usual. I said my hellos and went in and greeted my aunt gin who was sitting in the kitchen eating a grill cheese...which she offered my uncle to make me some more and even though i no thank you at least one hundred times she insisted...just there was no more bread left to make it. She offers me a place to sit down which i happily agree to. We chit chat about my life, how school is going, how my love life is going, and how my mom and dad are doing. We casually continue to talk for twenty minutes or so in which occasions of awkward silences arise. She gets finished with half of her grilled cheese and offers me the rest and like usual i always politely say no thank you no thank you until she says that she is just gona throw it away. Knowing that i hate it when people just throw food away i take it, and happily eat it cause i was hungry and that was probably the best grilled cheese i ever had. I make the both of us some hot tea after that and continue to talk about her and life. I remember that day and how i wanted to kind of get going because i was going to see my dad and i said i would pick him up at three but i didn't end up leaving there until three. I really enjoyed that last hour i spent with her, we laughed and made small talk like family members should but do not do often enough. I just wish i was there for her more, i'm not sure how but i just wish i could have been. I am really happy that i got that last day with her because a week or so after that day she got put into the hospital and a day or two after that she had passed.
My last moments with my uncle John i can't even remember i guess the last time i really got to see him was easter of last year but all i did was shake his hand and talk to him as if it were any other day. At least with my aunt i got to hug her and tell her goodbye.
Tomorrow at nine thirty is the funeral in Hawthorne at the local church in which we all went years ago on a noraml basis, St. Anthony's. I would like to say something like i did for my uncle but i just don't know what to say and i feel as if people more important than myself should be the one to speak on her behalf. If no one offers to say anything about her then i will start and hopefully people will follow although my family has a lot of outspoken gents in it so i doubt that will be an issue.
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