I have nothing left to give, you have bled me dry.

All day since i said my last goodbye to my Aunt Gin, where i laid a single pink rose and i kissed my finger tips and pressed them against her closed coffin i have felt an unnerving sadness that can not be quelled. I wept into my cousins mike arms for a good three minutes which seemed just not long enough. As i type my hands shake with a nervousness that i can not explain. I want to ask her so many questions that only she can answer for me. I don't know what to do i just need her guidance, why couldn't i ask her before she passed, a simple phone call is all.

I would be crying right now if i had any tears left, but i'm dry.

Is this how it is going to be? I loved her. I loved her a lot but not with my whole being. That scares me because what happens someone does come along and i give that love and they die to...God forbid i have a son or daughter and they are taken from me because my grief would just be so impossible to fill with love or happiness ever again. I lost my uncle and i felt alone, now i lost my great aunt and i feel lost. I do not want to lose anyone else that is important to me...if i do i really have no idea how i am going to be able to continue breathing or living. A poem for her basically describing her to me.

Please stay at home
just keep me company by the stove
what's that hunny?
you can not tell me that you're not hungry.
sit sit
eat eat
what to make as a treat?
did you complete
the homework from last week?
okay hunny lets just sit down and work out what we need
then we can eat
yes hunny your mom is gona be home
tonight
just lie awake with your eyes closed tight
i will call her for you just stay still
and let your heartbeat stay weak.
Of course il be there to cheer you on
i'm the loudest one and you make me the most proud.


I could have not asked for a better aunt who treated me like her fourth son, truely she was a woman to be proud of. I miss you aunt gin and il never forget you and how you treated me just like a son.

RIP Virgina "Ginny" Frawley
Beloved Aunt Gin or mom to me.
December 18, 2008